2. screw the shift key all together. thats right, you should never use the shift key only the caps lock key.
3. IF YOU USE THE CAPS LOCK KEY KEEP IT ON THE WHOLE TIME YOU TYPE A MESSAGE
4. use emoticons a lot :) (: xD
5. dont use apostrophes. ever. not even if its a good time. ive nevered like them. thats just the fact of the matter.
6. if you must use punctuation for non-emoticon purposes at the end of sentences, always use three question marks or exclamation points!!!
7. use shorter words. the words "too", and "to" can be used as "2", and "know" is "no", also "your" and "you're" is "ur", and of course "you" is "u"
8. when you can use as many words you want to (like facebook) abbreviate words like this: "man im totly hapy that ur 2 cul 4 me" but when using twitter "male human, i (referring to me as a corporal being) express great satifcation that you are much too awesome than me"
9. quote songs wrong, other people think thats deep and thoughtful
10. send forwards, people like them just as much as you do. you also will win prizes for not breaking the chain.
11. when replying to emails, be sure to put your reply below the original message.
12. when posting on forums, always quote the entire 3 paragraph message before you then say "me 2"
13. dont use search features, thats what theyll be be expecting. ask questions on facebook like "how many people live in colorado" and post questions on forums that already have a thread going (the more the merrier), you can also as people to send you an email again because you can't find it in your inbox.
thats the quick list on how to speak internet
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